Introduction
Parenthood is a transformative adventure filled with joy, challenges, and boundless love. Becoming a daddy may seem both exhilarating and overwhelming, and it is, but it really is what you make of it that will guide your journey. We’ll explore three critical areas for any new dad, offering insights, practical advice, personal stories and guidance to help you navigate the exhilarating ride of becoming a parent.
1. Embracing The Emotional Rollercoaster
Becoming a daddy often comes with a wave of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, worry, joy, these are just some of the feelings you might feel. Although everyone’s initial thoughts and experiences are different, there are usually a couple of general thoughts and questions that every new dad has.
“Wow, I’m going to be a dad”
Nervousness And Self-Doubt
Amidst the excitement, there’s usually always a touch of nervousness and self-doubt. “Will I be a good dad?”, “Am I ready to be a dad?”, “What kind of dad am I going to be?”, and one of the most common realizations of all, “Wow, I’m going to be a dad”.
Whether we realize it or not, thoughts often turn to one’s own upbringing and fatherhood models that we have observed over the years. It’s essential to embrace this emotional rollercoaster and understand that these are normal thoughts. While it might be hard for some to communicate their feelings, and others hide or ignore their emotions, it’s common to become easily overwhelmed within your own thoughts.
“Effective communication becomes more vital than ever”
Communication
As you and your partner step into this new chapter of your life, effective communication becomes more vital than ever. Communicating your feelings, fears, aspirations and dreams help to create an even stronger partnership. If you’re able to engage in open and honest discussions with your partner it will help create support for both parents.
Ups and Downs
There will be good days, great days, amazing days, and there will be awful, lousy, and horrible days. What can I say, there’s no hiding it, realizing the responsibilities and commitment of becoming a parent will be overwhelming at times. This is true for both mothers and fathers, at least it was for my wife and I. This is where “patience is a virtue”, having the ability to slow down your initial feelings and reactions will allow you to think and communicate.
Sometimes all it takes is a giant bear hug and a couple deep breaths, other times it takes a little more. The ability to effectively communicate to one another will let you discover the best way you can support your growing family.
“Everyone has different experiences and that is ok!”
My Personal Experience
I’ll be honest, it took me a little while to actually feel like I was “A Dad”. Even after our son was born I didn’t initially feel like a new dad. In my mind I knew that I was a dad, I mean I was sitting there holding and taking care of our son but I didn’t have “that feeling” you hear others talk about. Don’t get me wrong, I was extremely excited and loved our little boy, but I thought it would feel different at first like you hear others talk about. Like I said earlier, everyone has different experiences and that is ok!
It might have been because I am the youngest of my siblings but the first to have a child. My brothers and I were the youngest of our cousins and never really had experience with babies or kids. The more in touch you are with your own feelings the better equipped you are to handle any type of situation. I’m still not really sure why that “dad feeling” didn’t happen for me right away, but I’ll never forget when it did.
My wife and I’s personal experiences, the beginning of our parenthood journey together, was a bit different from most. Although it was different, we supported each other and worked through everything together. When my son turned two months old, we learned that he needed open heart surgery. That was extremely scary and heavy news, hearing that news was the exact moment where “full dad mode” kicked in. Our little boy was so small, he weighed only 7lbs at the time and all I could think was “just let me trade places with him”. There was nothing we could personally do to help him, but all our little guy had in this entire world was his mom and his dad.
2. The Balancing Act: Self Care
Amidst the excitement, stress and worries of becoming a daddy, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. It actually might be up to you to remind your significant other of this as well. Balancing work, personal life, and parenthood requires intentional effort. Discover ways to carve out moments for yourself, whether it’s a short walk, a hobby, a workout or simply taking a breather.
The quicker you understand simple ways to de-stress in a constructive manner, the better equipped you will be to support your family. Understanding that your significant other may need the same breather for themselves but in a different way will reinforce your relationship.
You’re Not Alone
You may be a single parent, a mother or a father, but you’re not alone. In today’s day and age, there are countless groups and organizations for parents, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Creating your own support system or a support system you and your partner can both rely on will help ensure a smoother transition into the early stages of parenthood.
Work And Family
Time off work is well needed after becoming a new dad. Although it may not be possible in every scenario, if you have the option to take time off work, take it. Sleepless nights, new routines, and a crying baby are only a few of the stresses you can experience. As exciting as it is to become a dad, it’s exhausting, then going to work on top of it, woof. Besides the obvious rest you may need, it’s important to be present and supportive, to help and learn the new household schedule.
Feeding, diaper changes, swaddling, bathing, sleeping ques, colic, nap and bedtimes… If you’re a new dad there’s a lot to learn. Your partner will need help too, being able to step in and know exactly how to handle the situation will give you confidence to navigate even the most difficult circumstances. Not many dads will admit that they have read about caring for a child. You shouldn’t worry about asking for help, all new dads have to learn some way, doing a little reading and research to have a sense of what to expect is better than going into this parenting journey with your eyes closed.
Education And Continuous Learning
Even when you think you nailed it, boom, you didn’t. Becoming a daddy is a continuous learning process, you will never stop learning. Staying informed and educated will empower you to tackle challenges confidently and enjoy the rewarding moments of new parenthood. Read up on baby care and engage with other parents to share insights, just remember that everyone’s journey is different, there is never only one single way of being an amazing parent.
As you embrace the title of “daddy”, remember that this role is an ever-evolving experience. You don’t have to sit and read countless children’s books about becoming a new parent, there are countless ways of learning the needs of a newborn. Educate yourself by conversing with other parents or watching videos on YouTube, you might even find yourself reading one of the informative blogs at DadDegree.com (see what I did there?). The big takeaway here is that understanding and learning about your new role becoming a dad will pay dividends.
“My wife and I occasionally joke and reminisce about times before we were parents, I know that we wouldn’t change it for the world.”
3. Navigate Daily Tasks: New Routines
Lack of sleep, social and lifestyle changes, new responsibilities, these are just some of the changes you can expect when becoming a new dad or parent. Parenthood is not easy, expect some bumps along the road. Understanding ahead of time that almost every area of life is going to change in some way shape or form is better than the alternative of not expecting it. For some, it will be a very good change, for others, they may miss their old routines. My wife and I occasionally joke and reminisce about times before we were parents, I know that we wouldn’t change it for the world.
New Responsibilities And Adjustments
Your baby only has you to depend on. Newborn babies need you for everything, while this statement should seem like common sense, sometimes it;’s not so common. Fully understanding all of the changes and adjustments that will take place can be alot to take in. Your patience is going to be tested more than once, it also might be after you haven’t slept more than a couple of hours a day and maybe feeling under the weather. What I mean is that things won’t always happen as you have planned.
Embrace flexibility and patience, new routines take time to establish and become the norm. Some daily chores and routines may need to take a backseat. Understanding that temporary adjustments may need to be made won’t be taken as a huge shock once your newborn baby is now at home. Try to share some of these new responsibilities with your partner and communicate with them when one of you needs help or a break.
Be Physically And Mentally Present
For the first few months, your social life will most likely become non-existent. Utilize this time to create a nurturing environment for your family. Reading, singing, playing or simply spending quality time together will foster a strong connection and allow both parents to actively participate in the bonding process. With the amount of time spent on cell phones nowadays, make sure to prioritize time spent surfing the web and social media, and separate it from time spent with your baby and partner. If you’re sitting on a couch next to your baby but you’re just sitting on your phone, is that actual quality time?
I’ll be the first to admit that I am guilty of this. There were times where I did not realize that I would be physically in the same room but not entirely present, because I was on my phone. My wife had actually called me out on this one evening and made me realize I was doing this. We talked it through and it made me realize that was not the type of parent I wanted to be. We have now tried to limit screen time and phone time for everyone during specific “family times” such as during meals, or whenever someone is trying to engage with you. There might not be anything more annoying than when you’re trying to speak to someone and their head is buried in their phone, you might as well be talking to yourself.
"Being physically and mentally present is extremely important."
Being self aware while being physically and mentally present is extremely important. Create time on your phone, but also create time spent with your family, completely away from your phone.
Sharing Tasks And Chores
While it will almost certainly never work out perfectly, having a plan regarding the division of tasks will help to create a healthy and balanced family dynamic. Discussing expectations, preferences, and concerns can assist you with creating a collaborative plan that considers both partners needs and strengths. Shopping, meal preparation, cleaning, laundry, these are just a few of the items that should be sorted out to help alleviate day to day responsibilities.
When it comes to childcare, it is important to do your best and share most of these duties. Whether it’s feeding, changing diapers, or soothing the baby to sleep, both partners should actively participate. This not only eases the workload, but it will also strengthen the bond between parent and child. Balancing the workload between partners can reinforce trust and support for one another. Working together and collaborating effectively will create the best environment for welcoming home your new bundle of joy!
Routines Can Help
Creating routines will help simplify all of the new responsibilities that emerge when bringing home a newborn. Creating schedules, feeding schedules, nap times and bedtimes, bathing, bedtime routines such as reading or rocking your newborn to sleep will help a great deal. If you remove the questions of “When”, “Where”, “How” when it comes to childcare it helps to reduce stress.
When both parents are on the same page with this routine, everything gets a little bit easier. Just remember that even routines need flexibility and adaptability, routines will change and evolve but having something in place will help with the unexpected.
My 2 Cents
Life goes by fast, and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Tell your children that you love them every single day. Embrace the good times, accept the bad times, and create everlasting memories. Spend time with your children and be silly with them. New toys are great but creating memories with our children is what will last. When we are actually present within our children’s everyday lives, that is what they are going to remember as they grow up, not the newest video game or the tablet that plays their favorite cartoons.
Our children are going to remember getting ice cream on those warm summer nights, or that time we went to the zoo to see Christmas lights. Those Friday evenings we all sat on the floor and played board games all night and laughed. Those are the memories that last a lifetime, those are the memories that truly matter. It’s just my opinion, but we can all benefit from slowing down life as much as possible because I have personally felt that as I age, the quicker life goes by.
Conclusion
Remembering that every family’s journey is unique, what works for family A might not work for family B. The key to successfully navigating new routines is open communication, flexibility, and a supportive partnership. Finding the right balance is going to be a continuous process. It’s okay to reassess and adjust your approach as your family dynamic evolves over time. By incorporating these strategies, you can begin to create both a nurturing environment for your baby and yourselves while also being flexible enough to navigate the unpredictability that comes with parenting.
